Mutually beneficial relationships rest on a foundation of respect, trust and support. However, dysfunction can arise when one person becomes overly reliant on another for validation, self-worth or a sense of purpose. Codependency is a common, often misunderstood issue, particularly among women who tend to put others first.
What Is Codependency?
Codependency is a dysfunctional relationship where one person excessively depends on another – often emotionally, but sometimes financially or psychologically. It often involves:
- A deep-seated fear of abandonment
- Low self-esteem and an externalized sense of self-worth
- A compulsion to “fix” or rescue others
- Difficulty setting and maintaining personal boundaries
While this one-sided dynamic can happen in any relationship, it’s particularly common in romantic partnerships, families and friendships where one person assumes the role of the caretaker or enabler.
Why Does Codependency Happen?
Many women who struggle with codependency have grown up in environments where love and approval were conditional, leading them to believe they must constantly prove their worth by taking care of others. Contributing factors include the following.
- Childhood emotional neglect: Growing up in a household where adult caregivers ignored or dismissed your needs can lead you to seek external validation in adulthood.
- Trauma or abuse: Experiencing trauma can lead to people-pleasing behaviors and an intense fear of rejection or abandonment.
- Addiction in the family: Those raised in families affected by addiction often take on caretaking roles, learning to suppress their needs to maintain stability.
- Cultural expectations: Society often pressures women to be caregivers, making them more vulnerable to falling into codependent roles.
Emotional and Behavioral Signs of Codependency
You may recognize these red flags if you are in a codependent relationship.
- Feeling responsible for other people’s emotions and well-being
- Difficulty saying no, even when you are overwhelmed
- Feeling guilty when prioritizing your needs
- An intense fear of rejection, abandonment or disappointing others
- Constantly seeking external approval or validation
- Feeling unworthy or empty when you are alone
- Chronic stress, burnout or worsening anxiety from contributing more than your fair share in relationships
- Staying in relationships with emotionally unavailable or toxic partners
- Enabling a partner’s self-destructive behavior (e.g., substance abuse)
- Avoiding conflict at all costs, even at the expense of your well-being
How to Stop Being Codependent
Breaking free from codependent behaviors requires awareness, boundary-setting and self-love. Here are some ways to claim your independence.
- Acknowledge the problem: First, recognize unhealthy patterns in your relationships.
- Set boundaries: Learn to say no without guilt and establish limits that protect your emotional well-being.
- Prioritize self-care: Shift your focus inward with hobbies that bring you joy and fulfillment.
- Challenge negative thought patterns: Work on developing self-worth without depending on others’ opinions or validation.
- Learn to accept help: You don’t have to carry the weight of the world alone. Therapy can help you heal old wounds, build self-esteem and develop healthier relationship patterns.
Overcoming Codependency at Rising Roads Recovery
You are not alone if you recognize yourself in these patterns. At Rising Roads Recovery, we help women rebuild their self-worth and learn to cultivate healthier, more balanced relationships.
You deserve to be in relationships that empower you, not drain you. It’s time to put yourself first at our women’s-only mental health center. Contact us today to get answers to your questions about our comprehensive, compassionate care.
